Dadageddon: Weekend Wrap-up

So, Dadageddon 2012 still has a day and a half to go, but the longest part of it is over.

The highlight of Saturday, which was largely uneventful (except for a trip to the library to pick out a movie for movie night and Wegmans with all 3 kids), was Dessertapalooza. I had told The Boys that we could have brownie sundaes with whatever toppings they wanted after I put The Rocket Queen to bed. They made sundaes that were basically bigger than their faces. The sundaes had a brownie on the bottom, with chocolate ice cream, hot fudge, Redi-Whip, chocolate sprinkles, chocolate chips, and crumbled chocolate chip cookies. I told them (ok, maybe almost begged them) that they did NOT need to eat the whole thing, lest they get a stomach-ache. Thankfully, they each only ate about a quarter of their sundaes.

The main drama at dinner was, once again, Slash and his refusal to try anything new. I had given each of them a bowl of spaghetti and some red kidney beans (in a spearate bowl). Slash immediately informed me that he didn't like the beans and didn't want to try them. I told him that it was part of dinner and he needed to try at least one if he wanted Dessertapalooza. Cue the tears.

We went back and forth and I'll skip over the negotiations. The end result was he PROMISED me, under the threat of severe consequences for breaking the promise, that he would try pizza Sunday night.

We watched "The Sandlot," and they loved it. However, Slash spent most of the movie asking questions, which was insanely annoying. "Daddy, why did he say that?" "Daddy, why did he jump into the deep end if he can't swim?" "Daddy, why do they call it The Beast? Is it a beast? What is it? If it's a dog, why do they call it a beast? Did it REALLY eat those people? Why did it eat those people? Daddy, is the dog big or id it humongous? Daddy, why did they hit the ball over the fence?"

I don't know, Slash, why don't you just shut the f#*k up and watch the movie? Of course, I politely kept telling him to jjust watch the movie and his questions would be answered.

Today was a much more annoying day (mainly because I didn't have the hammer of Dessertapalooza to hold over their heads). I took them both to a birthday party in the afternoon, and we picked up a pizza on the way home at about 6:30. Slash was talking all about how he'd try the pizza and that he might like it but probably wouldn't eat it.

I knew it wouldn't be that easy. As could have been predicted, he refused to try the tiny bite I put on his plate. He asked for a small piece with crust, so I gave him that too. He licked the crust, but wouldn't take a bite. I started to get really mad because I told him that by breaking the promise he made, he was basically just lying to me to get what he wanted the night before (Dessertapalooza). I told him that if he broke the promise, he would lose all sorts of things. After some yelling (mainly by me), I finally got fed up and told him that it was time to go upstairs. I set the timer for 6 minutes and said that when the timer beeped, it was time to go up to bed.

He started to cry:

Slash: Daddy, I don't have enough time to eat the bite!

Me: Slash, there's 4 minutes left. Of course you have enough time. It only takes 5 seconds to put it in your mouth and take a bite.

This went on as the timer wound down. Six minutes came and went without him trying the pizza. As soon as it beeped, he starte screaming and crying. I'll skip the next few minutes of him crying and me not being so nice. Even though I didn;t want to, I gave him one more chance:

Me: Fine Slash, this is it. No shenanigans, no negotiating, just put it in your mouth and take a small bite. I'm going to count to ten and if you don't try it, no more chances. Ten, nine...

Slash: (through tears) Wait Daddy, I'm not ready. Start counting again.

Me: Fine. Ten...

Slash: (he puts the tiniest corner of the piece in his mouth and takes a bite) There, I took a bite.

Me: And? DId you like it?

Slash: It was yummy.

You little motherf...

Me: See?!?!? Didn't I tell you it was yummy? Was that so hard? Was that worth everything we just went through? Do you want to eat some more now?

Slash: No, I'm done.

Meanwhile, The Rocket Queen had been sitting in her high chair and didn't seem too happy. We all went upstairs to get ready for bed. I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, which was the Giants game I was recording. All weekend, I was looking forward to getting the kids into bed and watching the NFC Championship game. I had chips and salsa, Doritos, beer, and half a mini-chocolate cream pie all set to have a party in my stomach.

However, The Rocket Queen had other ideas...

As I was holding The Rocket Queen while she was brushing her teeth, I noticed that her sweet little forehead felt warm. I took her temperature and she had a 101.7. As I was taking her temp, she started to cry and started to gag. After I got her diaper closed, I sat her up and she promptly threw up on her changing table. Weh it seemd like she had stopped, I carried her into the bathroom and she proceeded to throw up, a bunch, on the floor.

Needless to say, I didn't eat a single thing while I watched the Giants win. My stomach was too on edge to enjoy anything.

All of this with The Wife out of town and not due back until Tuesday night.

Good times (until The Rocket Queen got sick).